Today is Day 33, August 23rd, 2019. The retreat is long since finished, but a key takeaway is the importance of continuity. Even post-retreat, maintaining practice is like maintaining a muscle. Train and utilize, or atrophy. Train in proper meditation sessions, and utilize in the day-to-day. Walking to work, listening to music, sleeping — continuity of awareness is key.
I’m writing from the balcony of an AirBnB in the Western coast of Sicily. The clock shows 11:41PM and the moon is three quarters bright with a strange red hue. It’s sitting just centimetres above the ocean. Maybe not centimetres, I…
“Are you feeling subtle sensations on the skin?”
“I think so,” I say.
“But sometimes I just think I feel something. How do I know I’m actually feeling it?”
“No need to overthink,” he says, after a moment’s pause. “Just feel.”
Just feel, he’d said. Not feel this or feel that. Not feel because or feel in order; no how’s or why’s or what’s. No modifiers, descriptors, or any further instructions.
Just, feel — the simple predicate.
Ok thanks, I say, bow my head, and walk out of the meditation hall. …
I’ve been eating vegetarian. Eating as* a vegetarian.
It hasn’t been as hard as I expected, to my own surprise. But it’s made me realize I’m more lactose intolerant than I thought I was.
I’ve lost one and a half pounds. Face is a bit skinnier. Appetite’s gone down, and energy levels too. So basically my entire life has changed. I poo a lot (like, a lot).
My mom keeps saying, “I don’t think you’re gonna make it.” Shush mum, you don’t know anything ok. I wave my chicken wing angrily. Haha, just joking.
But not joking. On Day 4…
7/7/2018 — Miyazu, Kyoto
It’s day 100 and it’s 1AM and my guesthouse owner is screaming something that I’m not yet awake enough to understand. Maybe I should wake up.
The rain is still pretty loud. That sound has been ringing in my ears for the past 3 days; through my helmet, through my jacket, and now through the ceiling.
I’ve ridden around 15000km since Tokyo, wrapping around Southwestern Japan (Kyushu & Okinawa), and am now heading North along the coast towards Hokkaido. A rider I met a few days ago was surprised my pace was so relaxed. I told…
Theres an Onsen I visit sometimes near this station. I had to vocalize those words pretty loudly in my head — the parts of thinking and understanding in my brain couldn’t really find each other. Maybe I was still a little drunk. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten chicken sashimi.
Platform signs passed by the window like cars on a racetrack, and heads bobbed in unison as the race came to a stop. The train doors opened and a thought of getting out popped into my mind. …
I don’t know if “only” or “already” fits better, but it’s been exactly a month since I stepped foot in Tokyo, and I can’t recall many instances in human history where someone has experienced so much in such a short time (maybe during the American Revolution or something). But considering that I’d booked my AirBnB the day of my flight, I shouldn’t be surprised that I’ve felt a flaming torch under my ass for half of it.
The shared sentiment surrounding Japan is “culture-shock” — when there is so much to take in, but not enough time to. …
Right on time.
I have a bunch of drafts sitting around. I haven’t finished them.
I have a list of other topics I’ve been wanting to write about. I haven’t started them.
For the longest time, I’ve found the right words quite hard to come by. Thoughts come and go. Sometimes before I can complete them.
When I was in high school, I made a bet with my boss at McDonald’s that I could eat 4 angus burgers within 10 minutes. I finished in 5.
I eat really quickly. Less so than before, but my grandpa used to joke that…
It’s 1 PM and I’m still in bed.
I woke up 4 hours ago but I’m still here lying in my underwear, watching YouTube videos and lurking around on /r/nba before the finals tomorrow.
I haven’t done this in a while.
Does it feel good? I think the expected answer should be a big fat yes, but when your mind has been running in a rhythm of urgency, it almost feels a bit anxious that you’re not actually doing anything.
Yes, yes. I get it. Relaxation is part of life. Doing nothing is a part of doing something. …
This is my first time writing more than one post in one day, but there is too much to talk about; I see more than I can write.
It’s only been a few days since I’ve been here, but each day has been fruitful. A little bit strange, considering I don’t really do much other than read, write, eat, and sleep. I haven’t picked up my violin in two weeks, and since my interview I haven’t done much coding either. …